Small Conversations

Marley came to me today with her new American Girl Doll and said she was going to put her hair into a poni tail. I told her not to do it. She did it anyway. Then she brought Julie (the doll) to me and said, "See? Doesn't she look good this way?" I said she looks like a girl who's mom isn't following the rules of don't put her hair up in a pony tail. As she walked away, I added, "And she does look really good."

Marley came back a little while later and showed me Julie again. "Doesn't she look good?" So I told her again, "she looks like the same girl who's mom doesn't want to follow the rules." And shrugged and told me, as she was walking down the hall, "There are no rules for being beautiful, Mom."

There sure aren't.

The other Julie conversation happened a few days ago. The day after Christmas, actually. (A little background: Dad was supposed to take her to Chicago in October to buy Julie, but it didn't happen.) Marley jumped up onto our bed and told us, since Santa Claus (yes, we let our kids believe...) gave her Julie for free, we could take her to Chicago to buy her a different AGD for her. Doh!

Have you seen this on FB yet?

It has been going around. Circulating. I talked to Bree, my 13 yo, when I saw it pop up on her facebook that she had left up. Is this a real post? Is it made up? I know Bree and her friends used to make up touching chain letters and txt them to friends to see if they would catch on. This could be a case of people making things up to get noticed, or to see what the comments will be, or just to get a rise out of people. Or it could be real. This is the second post of this sort, featuring this boy and his sister...



Anyway, here was my post to the topic. Is is ok? Is is brilliant parenting? Or are the parents forgetting that their children are people? With feelings? You decide.

I replied to this on another webpage. I like to imagine when I am helping my kids learn, how might I feel if my husband was displeased by something I did and treated me that way. After all not too long ago, wives were regarded as similar to how we regard children. The man's job was believed to keep her in line. to make sure she behaved. How would this parent feel if his/her spouse used this parenting "technique" for him/her. Infuriated, hopeless, betrayed? Probably not the best place to start the learning process.

I don't always do the "right thing" as a parent. Guilty. I am not the judge of any parenting. I try to use these kinds of things to remind me of my goals and whether or not what I am doing is bringing me closer to them.

More on the topic? http://www.ourmuddyboots.com/our-get-along-shirt-guest-post-by-dr-laura-markham/ These views are in line with mine for the most part. Only she outlined them out more clearly than I would typically do. :-)

News Flash UPDATE

(The things people say when they find out I homeschool... and what I think about those things....)

I just don't think I could handle being with my kids all day. I don't think they could handle being around me all day. We would drive eachother crazy!

Sometimes my kids drive me up the wall. Probably sometimes I do the same for them. But we play and sing and giggle and talk and smile, cook, yell, explain, argue, break things, fix things, and so much more TOGETHER. When they are loving to eachother I get to peek in on it like a fly on the wall. When they are fighting, I get to be there to redirect. (well sometimes I am unsuccessful at this but I try.) I am often reminded to be thankful that if tomorrow my kids were all taken away from me, I had this amazing time with these amazing people who like being around me for the most part too.

I wish I had thought of this forever ago!

This summer, I had an opportunity to go to Chicago with my son who is 18 and will be graduating high school soon. We were really close once. Then I got married and (I am not blaming my marriage for this) we grew apart. There are so many reasons for this. Anywho, this summer we went to Chicago together for a trip, just to take a trip to Chicago, no other reason. We took a river tour of Chicago, checked out the Willis Tower, at at a bunch of local eats, shopped at a bunch of local shops, we even got tattoos together (I know that sounds corny...) We saw a Bears game, we sat on the pier and watched the fireworks. How did I not do these things with him before this year? How did I not go out to eat, just us? How did we not go on small trips together in so long? How did I miss doing all that with him? Sure we did things together sometimes, but not the way I wish now we had. I wish I had some of those days to do over again so I could spend that time just me and him.

The girls and I, we have lots of one on one. We also have lots of together time. And it is mostly good. We shop together, go out to eat together, we vacation together (just me and my girls), when my husband leaves, the girls snuggle in my bed and we have sleep overs. I would not give these days up for a trillion bucks. Because a trillion bucks can't replace this.

Yes my girls drive me crazy. And yes I drive them crazy. And I would keep being crazy every day for every second more I have. And to not wish for do-overs with them.

There are many reasons for not homeschooling your kids. But don't let them driving you crazy be one of those reasons! Most likely you are already crazy. We all are. The most wonderful moments happen when we slow down. And they stay with you forever. They are worth it.

The Tea (birthday) Party

Have I plugged my favorite coffee shop here yet?? (lol. of course I have.)
 The Witch's Brew Coffee Shoppe

Do you facebook? Here is their facebook page.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/WitchsBrewCoffeeShoppe?fref=ts

My girls and I head there once a week for frappe's, tea, and games. Witch's Brew has drinks, eats, a set of game of their own for you to choose from, a chalk board the color on, free WIFI (we bring our ipod touch), and something new each time we go there.

The other day we were invited to a Birthday (tea) party there. It was so much fun! Everyone was given witch's hats to wear, there was soup/salad, fruit and muffins, then finger sandwiches, and cake. A bottomless glass of tea choices, presents, games.

I am so glad that Witch's Brew is in my neighborhood. Check it out.

The Party

The vampire panda (present) modeled on Marley's head.

Coop Break

Our Coop breaks for the months of December and January. I cannot imagine keeping up with that schedule through the holidays and am very thankful for the break.

Brenda however, in her cake decorating class, cannot get her head out of the frosting. She is designing a cake she would like to take to Grandpa's house for the Christmas Eve party. I know it will be crazy, most likely it will draw up a ton of tears, and in the end we will all love it. So is the way with Brenda...

Here are some cookies her class designed on their last day, before break. Then they all brought in cookies to share. Brenda insisted on making Gramma by Ollie's (Gramma Kosowski's) potato chip cookies. Boy how we still love those things. Even with me as a grownup.

And Bret and I still have anatomy to work on even though the holiday goes strong. Since we are working anyway I offered her (my child scarred for life from math due to her 8 days in school :-o) my 21 day program. 21 days of painelss math and then a dinner together when it is over. She accepted... BIG SHOCKER. Now to figure out where to start...

Service Project for Girl Scouts

So Bret's troop has gone from 9 girls to 18 girls. While Brenda's troop has gone from 11girls (two years ago) to 5 girls (last year) to just Brenda working as a Juliette without a troop.

One of the leaders has a husband doctor going to Belise for a few months to do some service work. He does this every few years. Our local troops are pitching in to put together school packs for the kids. I said I would be in charge of making 100 drawstring bags to put all the glue, paper, pencils, sharpeners, etc. into. Well I said my troop would be. And I would teach them to sew the bags. That was before I knew our troop would be 18 kids!! There is no way we have enough time for this project in this troop.

So Brenda asked if she could do it as her service project to earn her silver award. Her troop earned their Bronze award a few years ago setting up a book drive for a local church reading program. This project she would have to earn all on her own (so to speak). She has washed, ironed, and cut yards and yards of fabric. Tomorrow she begins the sewing process. The total project from beginning to end should take at least 40 hours to be considered for the Silver Award. She insisted she would like to try to focus on it and complete it in a week's time. Since it is due in January, I say let's do it in the first week, not the last...

 

UPDATE:

 

And now it is time to sew...

 

 

News Flash...

I have started an ongoing and ever growing list of what people say to me when I tell them we homeschool (let's call them for the sake of argument, homeschool myths), and a small bit of opinion on each...

Wow, I don't think I have the patience for that... me neither. Turns out you don't need unlimited patience and super powers. Just a love for your children and a desire to see them become successful people in the world. And maybe a little bit of reverse psychology hid up your sleeve doesn't hurt much.

What about socialization... Really I think this one is ridiculous to even touch. Who has not grown up hearing this... You are not here to socialize, you are here to learn! Seriously I don't remember who said, in order to improve my homeschooler's socialization, we make her walk down the hall a few times a day and we knock her over and call mean things to her as she goes by.  I know there are plenty of kids who enjoy school. But why not ask them if they wouldn't prefer hanging out with their friends outside of school? School is not where you learn to socialize, life outside of school is.

I am not smart enough to teach my child everything she needs to know... My sarcastic side says, why can't you just teach your child what YOU learned in school, because that is all YOU needed to know. But we all know that we didn't learn much of what was taught except when it interested us. So I say, don't teach your child what she needs to know. Just make learning fun and she will learn what she needs to know without too much help from you. Also... drum roll please, I had a son who was quick learning languages, and I couldn't keep up with him. You know what I did? I went to the local college and got him a tutor. And it worked beautifully! So many classes out there for kids now-a-days. Not school classes, but just classes for kids with inquiring minds. Classes and co ops and online courses and the History Channel and the Discovery Channel and NOVA and Google.........

You homeschool? With the way kids are now a days I think that is great! My kids are still kids now a days, even though they homeschool. They aren't sheltered from the "kids now a days". Some of those "kids now a days" are my kids friends. One way that homeschooling has benefited my girls is that not being IN the school, they can see things from the outsider view. Things look a lot different when you are not caught up in a situation, but rather can watch it from farther away. My kids get more opportunities to do that. I think it gives them a different perspective on friendships then kids in school.

How do you know if your kids are learning at the level as the schools? A couple things on this one. First, who the hell cares what the schools are doing? They aren't bringing home better success rates than me. And all the schools are doing basically the same thing. Look at what comes out of there? Some good, some bad. What fun is that. Let's do something different. Let's learn a different history and a different literature than the schools. Let's learn ethics and morals. Let's learn how to survive in the wilderness without other people. Let's learn to cook and take care of ourselves, because lots of people come out of school with no idea how to carry on their lives after school. Just for the fun of it. Because the schools have yet to prove that they are better than home. I have no interest in what the schools are doing. Two of my kids went back into the public schools, one as a Junior in high school, and one as an eighth grader. He graduates this year. They both passed the OGT's in one try. And a ton of their classmates who were in school all this time didn't. Let's just say that I put one of my kids in school and they struggled... for whatever reason in a topic or two like maybe math and history. So I guess my kids at home didn't do worse than the kids at school all this time. The schools have a bunch of kids struggling too. School is the one place in life where things are not like life, you don't have the same rights as everyone outside of school. Teachers, other students, and the faculty have more control over your body than you do. You aren't free to do and say what you please. People will touch you when you don't want them to, teachers will bully you if they want to, you can get punished for things you didn't do without due process. I have seen all these things happen to kids in school as recent as this year. Why would I want to keep up with that? Socially or educationally? No, I don't. Sure, the jury is still out with my kids and their education. Well the jury is already in with the schools and its not always good.

How do you keep the kids up with technology and education growing and changing so fast? Yea, I don't really care about any of that. My kids are up on all the technology. Personally I would prefer for us to be without it. I had a big conversation in the car the other day about how much kids miss when their faces are stuck in their phones. God provided us these beautiful sights and smells and touches and tastes and sounds. There is so much going on. And people aren't seeing it. They aren't stopping and whatching the ants carry food into their ant hole. In fact they can't see much of anything past their friend's txt which is about 5 inches to one foot beyond their face. Technology is great, but 1. don't think I will miss it much if it is gone. 2. don't think the schools are teaching it. 3. the kids will learn it without school. 

A short note on parenting...

Here we all were, years ago. Maybe 8 years? 7? It is hard to say exactly. I am trying to gauge it by little Bret's age. Maybe she was 3 or 4 there. I pick that age because she still didn't want to sit next to anyone but me. As you can see by the brilliance of her smile (sarcasm), while she is being propped up in her dad's lap. The rest of us dutifully smiling for our part in the happy family photo. Gaige looking squished by the mere girth of the group. Josh smiling because that is what he was told to do, Brenda looking just happy to be with everyone.

Were we really this happy? No! Photos are a stressful thing. Trying to get all the kids AND adults to look at the same place and smile a natural smile at the same time? Possible an impossible feat! It is not easy to be who you "have to be" all the time on demand. Not for me, or any of my kids, I am sure.

When I look back to my parenting back then, of course I wish I knew then... I wish I was more patient. I wish my boys didn't have to take the brunt of my parent learning curve. I wish I didn't make them smile for this photo if they didn't want to smile. I wish I told them to be who you want to be no matter what anyone (including me) wants... I wish... I wish... I wish... I wish I could tell them all those things now and make it stick...

Life is very happy. It is also very sad. So after seeing that one of my own posted something on the internet about me, or maybe just the family, or both, I am inclined to post a small bit about of my own "truth..."

When Maisy the lazy bird asked Horton to sit on her egg so she could get some stuff done, little did he know she would be gone off with her own life and leave him there with her egg. He sat patiently, enduring much weather, taunting, bullying, gunpoint, etc. Then she just happend upon Horton and the egg, during her wonderful trails of vacation, as the egg was about to hatch... '"But it's MINE!" screamed the bird, when she heard the egg crack. (The work was all done. Now she wanted it back.) "It's my egg!" she sputtered. "You stole it from me! Get off of my nest and get out of my tree!"

From me to Maisy the lazy birds in my life, "When the courts require drug testing in order to regain your visitation rights, and you don't persue it, life goes on. And people eventually move, because that is what they do. And make new families out of what they have. In these modern days, if you want visitation with your child, you just have to petition the courts. Our address has been all over the internet for years. Your son's sport schedules have been all over the internet for years. I know, I google it regularily, and I have for years. No one hid anyone from anyone. You didn't persue visitation. You didn't pay child support. When you tell your adult child at his most vulnerable time of his life, "I always wanted you, they wouldn't let me see you, but I am your mother and I have always loved you best, tell me how horrible they were to you," it is a little like Maisy the lazy bird wanting her egg back after all.

Facebook post this morning.

The way back from the Witch's Brew Coffee Shoppe for Mom's Treat Tuesday, we walked past this. It reminded me of a story. Marley made a Fairy home last month (this is the reminants of it). A friend came over for a minute with her kids. Her ...

boy looked over at the fairy home and notice there was a Lifesaver mint in it. He wanted it. We told him why it was there and why it had to stay there. A couple days ago she messaged me to tell me he found a mint in his Halloween candy and wanted to know if he could put it out for the Fairies. It seemed like a random txt but I just got it...

That is how easy it is. Don't just "teach" them to be loving and kind. Be loving and kind. To them and everyone and everything. (Not so easy?) They will follow, because they want to be with loving kindness. We all do. It feels good.

See More

 

Fav Activity of the Year

So last year our scout troop took a trip to see the Cincy RollerGirls. It turned out to be a pivotal move for my kids. The Jr Cincy RollerGirls skate intermission games for the Cincy RollerGirls at the Gardens. Bree and Bret were hooked. We bought roller derby skates and pads, and we waited for the notice that Derby was starting again. Now in our house, everyone has scouts, coop, and ONE other activity at a time. This because there are so many kids. When we had soccer, swim, dance, scouts all at the same time for the kids, I was being pulled in too many directions and I couldn't keep up. Both Bree and Bret chose roller derby over any of their other choices, including dance which Bret has been in since she was 5. Now they are all, roller derby is the best. and I want a ton of roller derby-ish t-shirts to wear and a sweatshirt. Bigger and better as they get older...

Keeping My Eye on the Prize

Caught on a trail cam, Bret and I were out doing some work on the land. Checking out the trail cam memory cards, feeding the deer. We got to spend the whole day together hiking and hanging out.

Ahhhhhh. This is the view of my new back yard... as soon as we build our cabin.

And this was just scary. It is a bob cat, the size of a mountain lion, caught on camera. One of a few hanging out on our land. Good news, they pretty much steer clear of people. Bad news, they don't steer clear of chickens.

Hat week

 

Here is how it started... I was making a Pinkie Pie Pony hat for a friend. And Bret wanted one. So I started making her one in secret and told her I wouldn't make her one (it was going to be an Xmas Present.) But that backfired on me because she decided to learn how to make her own Pinkie Pie hat. But I told her that her crocheting skills were not at HAT level yet. Then she persisted even when I got a little cranky about it. (I am sticking with A LITTLE cranky even though she thinks I got A LOT cranky.) Anyway I finally showed her what to do and of course she wanted to do it so badly that she picked it up quickly and soon had her own pinkie pie hat that she had made all of, except I made the ears for her. But she did the rest!!!!

 

 

Then Bree Rex decided she wanted to learn too.

Now she has made two hats and is working in her third, a Mickey Mouse hat. I have created a monster!!!

Witch's Brew Coffee Shoppe

 

OUR VERY OWN coffee shoppe in our small village. As soon as I found out I knew it was a keeper for us. So I woke Bret up early one day and we headed over there for a surprise. The other girls were so upset that I didn't wake them up too.

So now Tuesdays are called Mom's Treat Tuesday. Because I treat the girls to frappes every Tuesday morning. And we spend the morning playing games together while sipping on Frappes. I got the fabulous cinnamon spice tea today. OOOOOO good. I am still at home sipping on the tea, because I took the cup home and filled it back up with hot water. Oh yea.

Check out their Facebook page. Head on by for some tea, coffee, FRAPPE, donuts, cupcakes, etc. You will be glad you did.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/WitchsBrewCoffeeShoppe?fref=ts

Overcast Ault Park

So a friend and I were planning on going to Ault Park to do some painting with the kids. BUT as the days went by they were starting to look colder and wetter. Then we said why not go when it is wet and chilly. So we did and the kids had so much fun! Painting and walking the park together. Investigating the park in the overcast. Who ever thought of such a thing...

 

 

 

Bret is obsessed with Starry Night ever since she learned about the painting in her COOP art class. (she says I AM NOT obsessed with it, I just make it a lot... :-) And her mom is obsessed with blogging about stuff no one cares about.

 

While the younger girls were working on their art, Brenda was out with the camera "pic"ing the park.

LOVE THIS ONE

 

Totally overcast beauty!

This one is my favorite. I should have these printed and framed!

Getting Dad Involved

So Bret's life is pretty much working and hunting. Some times this summer he put in crazy hours at work. 18 hours some days he would work, come home to eat and sleep, then wake up and do it again. Now it is fall, so he is slowing down on work and focusing on his favorite past time, hunting. He works so hard, I think it is important that he has his time to play also. And sometimes because of this, we don't get to see him much. And when we do see him, the kids are so excited and loud that he gets frustrated. Then the kids start to think that he is always just cranky. It is a cycle we have. He really is a good guy that works tremendously hard for our family.

I think there are so many families like this. The parents work so hard that they are exhausted at the end of the day. They don't have the mental state of mind or the energy to keep up with the kids. Children need so much time from us. It is a part of what keeps them healthy.

This is the third year in a row where we had an opportunity with scouts to help produce an activity where parents and their scouts can get some one-on-one. A time where they can get silly if they want. Where they can have a moment of going down to their  children's level. Does everyone who goes to these activities get that out of it? Probably not. Hopefully some do. Because we all need it.

 

Anyway the program for our Masquerade Dance Party goes like this... There were a series of stations: pumpkin decorating, planting a spider plant, bookmarks to make, a Girl Scout Quiz, Ghost suckers, and dancing on the dance floor. Each girl gets a "passport". Each station has a stamp which each scout/parent pair can stamp the passport with when they have completed the station.




Then after snacks

(the ones I brought were made with loving help from my girls)
and singing Happy Birthday to Girl Scouts (in consideration for Juliette Gordon Low's birthday on October 31), each girl can trade her passport in for a gift (dollar store fun prizes like jewelery makers, fuzzy socks, body tatoos, etc.)

At the end all families and troops can go for group photos.



My amazing family minus the boys of course.

This is some of my fab troop. Just as often as I remember to be a good sport, I do so. The more I remember, the happier their childhood becomes. A quote I heard as of recent, which really reminds me of my goals and how to acheive them...

 

"If you decide how you want your home to be, and then make choices that get you nearer to that, things will get gradually better.
If you don't decide, or if you don't think of it many times a day when you make small choices, and decide how to act and react, then things won't get better.

Not every step will be forward, but if most of them are, then you'll make progress." Sandra Dodd

 

It is a hard one to remember, but well worth it. This is how we change our world, change our world, change our world. This is how we change our world, so early in the morning. (in a singsongy voice)

 

UPDATE: Totally forgot Marley's troop :-)

 

HOW TO: Grow plants for hydroponics PART I

So we will be doing this Brett-Thompson Style. Yes that's right, my auto mechanic is my hydroponics teacher. He swears he grows 9 foot corn stalks. And his sweet peppers are bigger than my head. As if that isn't intriguing enough, he offers to help me set up my own system! That brings me here now.

 

The reason this is part one is because I am blogging as I go along. We aren't "there" quite yet. Come along for the experience. :-) Learn with us.

 

Let's go over some Bret-Thompson basics...

 

We will be growing from seed. Because it is good to see everything from the beginning. We will learn more that way. ALSO fall is NOT the time to purchase tomato and pepper plants... apparently. Who knew...

 

 

Soooooo. Anywho, here are our seeds. First I placed a wet cloth in a ziplock container (a bowl of any sort would work just fine). I placed a few seeds in the wet cloth and closed the sides of the cloth on top of the seeds. Then I stored them on top of the refrigerater. Note: I found that the cloth dried up too often so I draped a plastic bag lightly over the cloth to keep the water from evaporating so soon. Every day, I checked the the cloth. When it began to dry out, I just added more water to the cloth, put the baggy over it again and put it away.

 

A little Botany 101... To germinate (begin to grow a seedling) all a seed needs is water and warm air. Seeds can grow a seedling in the dark and lacking dirt. This is because the seed has everything the plant needs to begin growing. It will not begin the process of photosynthesis right away during germination. (of course we are going to see that the plants don't REALLY need dirt at all, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.)

 

 

 

 

At first some roots popped out, this was maybe 4-5 days. Then about a week later, when the roots had grown and the plantling was starting to appear, I took them carefully out of the cloth. I placed them in a small yogurt-ish container and covered the roots with a wet napkin, again making sure that the napkin stayed constantly moist. I put a plastic baggy over the napkin when I noticed it started to dry out too often. Right about now, the plant was good to have some light. I put it by the window. Then went off to see Brett.

 

Tools:

We need a Ph and PPU Reader. Ph (how acid or basic something is) and PPM (parts per million, it is essencially a way to see how much food is in the water). Brett was kind enough to let me borrow his until I get my own. They cost about $250.00. 

Brett recommends (and again has let me borrow some for this experiment) MaxiBloom 5-15-14 made by General Hydroponics for the plant food. This was purchased at Worms Way in Hebron KY, cost $29.95 AND it goes a long way. Totally I plan to head over there soon to check out what they have and see how they are doing things. Luckily I have Brett here to show me how to get things started first.

Pargro Quickdrain. It looks like insulation. When you touch it, you should wash your hands. It can cause itching same as insulation. Now mine is already soaking. It should soak 24 hrs before use. I am starting with 1.5" starter plugs (cubes). ( I do have bigger cubes soaking too which will continue to soak in there until it is time to put the small cubes into the bigger sized cubes. More about that later.) I started by filling a bathroom-sized grabage can with 3/4 full with water.

I put in MaxiBloom a pinch at a time until the PPM reads between 600-650 (it didn't take much MaxiBloom to get it there) and Ph should be around 6-6.5. If it is too low you can purchase "UP" from most pool supply stores to balance the Ph.

 

LAST, I need a terrarium. I don't have one, but I do have a small fish bowl and glass lids for my pans. So I fixed one up this way.

 

 

 

 

I took the small Pargo plugs and, using a small skinny pencil, I put a hole in each one big enough to fit the seedling's root. After inserting the seedling I smoothed out the hole so it was closed around the plant. Now I put the plants in my terrarium. They will need to be checked to make sure they stay moist, of course. This is where the terrarium lid comes in of course, keeping the mixture from evaporating out. The terrarium should be by a window. The plants need sunlight now. The plants will grow in here about a month. I will update to show my progress. In the mean time I am soaking sweet pepper seeds and hot pepper seeds, to get them started too. So exciting!!

 

 

 

If you want to learn more about what I am doing for this ongoing project... http://hydroponicandgarden.blogspot.com/



The Lesser of Two Evils

Can I weigh in on the debate for president?

I will try not to make it long. I will try not to insult your choice, I will try not to do all the things over half of my facebook "friends" have done to me, which is to say, post photos, messages, and commentaries of half truths and distorted comments of conversations that were mishandled, misread, and misunderstood for the purpose of making their point of who is better.

First, I would like to say I take a firm stand when voting on what I believe. I don't care about abortion issues in the US. I don't care if you are gay and want to marry another person of your own gender. All this is about God and not the government. Personally, I might have even been happier to just be with my husband and not married throughout or lives. Marriage has been a binder that held us together too many times and it was also what we used against eachother when we wanted to get our way too many times for so many years. I should like to see what would have happened if we didn't have that sticky glue of marriage holding us here. If our choice to stay together would have changed had we not had that sticky paper. What if the only thing holding us together was... us. Well I digress. Back to the topic.

I don't even care about whether or not people are more green. There I said it. Sometimes I throw my paper mail into the garbage because it is closer than the recycle. And let's face it, who are we kidding?? People were greener when they didn't have computers, ipods, ipads, cell phones, and all the other doohickies that charge our electric bills to high heights all night and day. We were greener when mom and grandma had to walk to the grocery store with her foldup cart, because the family only had one car and it was at work with hub. We were more green when our kids walked to the park, instead of being driven to soccer practice, dance lessons, swim practice, and all the other places we think they "must" be. But again, I digress. This, for another day and another blog post. We will get THERE.

For too long I have listened to both sides. (and as I told you, I do have a position). Why too long? Because it seems forever that I have been hearing the half truths of both sides. And any amount of lies is too much. Fact checking the dems from reps has even become a job for liars. Even the FACTS are being swayed toward one side or another. So to all you political facebook friends of mine, all you commentary-ers, you "fact" checkers, how are you helping? If you convince someone to vote for your stupid candidate by telling them half truths and lies, if you distort the numbers so they look like something they are not, and post them on Facebook, are you helping the world? Are you helping ANYONE? Are you making us smarter? Or is reaching your goal just more important than your integrity? Are we such a community of scammers that there is no need for truth, just a need for a bottom line winner?

This is why election year really sucks. It reminds me (at first I put "us" in place of "me". I changed it just in case you don't agree) of how many people think we are stupid. It reminds me of how many people think power is more important than the pain women suffer after abortions and before. It reminds me of how little REP's and DEM's alike really care about the rights of gays. They don't. They don't seem to care at all. They only want to win. They don't care if women are dying from unsafe abortions or if they are dying inside after a safe abortion. They think we think that they care. But they don't. They don't care about whether or not they environemnt is safe. They don't care about whether or not you are safe. Raise taxes, lower taxes, it doesn't matter. You won't see any more if it going to benifit you than you already do. And they think you don't know this. They are taking away our rights and they think you don't notice.

They are signing bills into effect allowing themselves ultimate freedoms and restricting ours. They are allowing children to be tagged and monitored with computer chips. They are making rules that apply to us and not them. They take our money and squander it, then convince people it is the rich's fault we are poor, and if we take more from them, we will all be even. Only the reality is that there will just be more for them to squander. And they think we don't know that they are trying to turn us against eachother. They think we are so into what we believe in that we don't care if it is based on their lies.

And THAT ladies and gentlemen, is the world we live in. The people we chose to protect our rights are leading us to slaughter and they think we don't care. Maybe they are right. And that is my weigh-in. In the words of the fab Dr. Seuss "Sorry to say so but sadly its true.

When we are offensive...

I have had the opportunity to be in a situation to witness one of my children acting in a way that is considered offensive to another person. This was a concept in a theme on my blog not too long ago, so I though I would take a moment to address this new situation here.

One of my children is doing something in a group setting (a group which she really enjoys and loves to be a participant in) that is considered offensive by one of the members of the group. It is a group of younger children. I attend the group as an onlooker, so I have been aware of this thing she is doing,  and reaction it is having. We do not (in our family) consider what she does to be anything out of the ordinary, and we definitely do not find it obscene. But this one person does, because his parent have tought him that it is. So the parent brought it to the attention of the person in charge. She politely asked for the person in charge to recognize it as offensive and not allow it to happen in the group and of course in front of her child.

I should stress again that we do not find this thing offensive. Not in the least. It is something that is commonplace in our lives, and we don't even bat an eye to it. I would go further to say that we all do it from time to time. She is just our dramatic one right now so she is doing it more. She knows that we don't agree with the stance of the parent who believes it is offensive and even maybe sacreligious.

So what to do??

The person in charge brought it to my attention the other day in an email. I really respect this person, and also I should note for the record that I am sure the other parent is not being a problem starter, but just trying to resolve what she sees as an issue in her best way possible. I take no offense from either one of them for the actions they have taken (which is to say just addressing the matter with eachother and me.)

And my child knows it is bothering the other child. He has addressed it to her and she told him that she doesn't believe it is offensive or sinful. She recognizes that said child gives her the "stink eye" when she commits this "atrocity" - if you will.

Again, WHAT TO DO...

What do I teach my children? Things will seem offensive in life. You may chose to be offended, or chose to not be offended and move on. We can be offended by everything or nothing. It is best to live our own lives how we see fit, and understand that not everyone sees fit the same as us. In other words, to each his own. But that is not how everyone sees it. If they are "offended" some people believe the offense should be ended. That is because they believe their way is right and the offense MUST be wrong and therefore stopped. (Yes that was two ands in one sentence. Get over it. lol.) We don't believe or teach that everyone should stop their ways to accomodate us. Except in extreme cases like abuse, bullying, etc.

So again, WHAT TO DO???

So I weighed the options and discussed them with her. Because that seemed what to do. She DOES have choices, after all. She can change her ways for the group because she likes being there and she wants to stay there living in peace with other people. OR she can chose to take a stand and drop out of the group. Both are acceptable options, and both are fine with me.

She chose to stay and try to work on her "offensive behavior" for the class. I could be upset. I could be offended as well. But I am not. So is life. It is good to see we have choices and make the ones that work for us. This is a good opportunity. So we will learn and move on.

A New Kind of Sleepover

Marley has gone to two "sleepovers" to this date. They both looked similar. The girls had a great time. They played and stayed up late, put their pj's on, watched tv, had snacks, then when it was time to go to sleep I get the call. "I will be right over."

So when Marley asked if she could have her friend, J, come over and spend the night, I got on the phone with her mom, who informed me she was having card night at her brother's appartment with family. I told her, why don't I pick J up and she can hang out here until you are done with card night and you can pick her up. Well that was going to be around midnight. It was perfect! The sleepover would end when all good sleepovers end at that age, WHEN IT IS TIME FOR BED.

So J came over and the girls played, which freed me up to help process the meat of the deer my husband had killed the day before. They laid in bed watching tv with snacks. And when it was time to wind down for the "night", there was J's mom, ready for a pickup. We all went back into our bed together like usually snuggly and warm for a good night's rest. No 2 o'clock call and quick still-in-my-slippers pick-up. Just a good night's sleep.

Girl Scouts October

 

Boy oh boy! Here we are again, talking about how busy we have been and how fast the year has gone. I yearn for the days when we can slow down from what is starting to feel like a rat race. It seemed like there wasn't as many crazy days this fall, but still we seem to be constantly busy. I am forgetting things, and overlooking things. Time to slow down. When my own young children are remarking how fast time is going (which is totally supposed to be an older person's perspective) it is time to make a change. But I digress. This is about our Girl Scouts October.

 

It seems like (when not only does it seem like, but it IS like) we have an activity going on every week this month! Check it out. Friday we were in the local high school homecoming parade.

 

Saturday (yesterday) my cadettes had a training and planning meeting for Camp Spookybrook, a Halloween activity put on by CSA's for the younger girls. There is a game and activity building, a "haunted" house, a craft and snack room, face painting and I think they added a haunted trail this year too. The older girls plan it and set it all up. Such a great introduction to being leaders, themselves.

Next weekend, we are camping out for a night of wall climbing, archery, camp fire, and more. The weekend of the 20th, the girls dress up in costumes, dresses, and masks for the bring-an-adult event called "Masquerade Dance Party". The weekend of the 27th my Cadettes get together again to head over to Camp Spookybrook to put their planning ideas to work for the one day event, Camp Spookybrook.

It is like the month that never ends. On top of this Bret's troop meets twice on Thursdays, Brenda and Marley now attend the homeschool troop which meets on the alternate Thursdays to Bret's troop. And Marley's local troop starts this month. **SIGH** (That was a sigh with a crooked smile, btw)

Fall and the Family

 

Here is a great list. Are you someone who wants some new or even old ideas for the autumn time of year? Are you out of ideas that will spark your and your children's creativity at this amazingly beautiful time of year?

This was posted to a group I belong to. A group I haven't been on in quite a while appearantly, given the over 300 messages that I had when I decided to check it out again. So I have been a little busy as of late.

Anyway check it out. There are lots of ideas that you will already have thought of and plenty more that might make you go, "Ah we haven't done that in a while. Let's try it out."

http://parentingsquad.com/fun-fall-activities-for-families

Freecycle... do you do it?

Do you even know what freecycle is? It is a yahoo group probably one in your area if you look it up. Freecycle allows you to post wanteds and offers of basic things you might need or want to get rid of. People will come pick it up from you if it will serve them a purpose. Or someone might offer up something you want. Works both ways.

 

Sometimes freecycle gets a bad name. One time I had someone reply to pick up something that I was offering. I specifically requested for people to only reply who can pick up in the next couple days because I wanted this item gone. Then I didn't hear back from her for a day. So I assumed she changed her mind and went off to the next person in line and offered it to them. Well a day and a half later she replied, apologizing for not replying in a timely fashion and that she was ready to pick it up. I had to tell her it was already gone and explained the situation to her. She accused me of being why freecycle gets such a bad name. It was because of people like me. And my thought on that is, if you replied to my email about what you wanted in like 10 minutes, then reply to my next email about making arrangements timely. After all you didn't have any problem getting to me to be first in line on my list of wanters.

 

Another issue with freecycle that I often hear is that people say they pick something up and then they DON'T SHOW UP. Don't be this person. This is such a great program for repurposing items. Don't be the person who makes things harder for the givers. I am a giver. I have received a few things from freecycle but mostly I have been on the giving end of things.

 

So I hope she won't be offended that I posted this photo. (She will probably never see it???) This is a lady who recently received two black garbage bags full of fabric from me. I sadly decided it was time to part with the fabric in my fabric closet that was taking space. I haven't quilted in years. I haven't sewn anything with that fabric in years. "Years" is long enough to let it go, I suppose. I am purging this week.

Anyway this lady who picked up my fabric sent me this photo. She makes fabric grocery bags. My fabric most of it was not as cool as this one I suppose. But I am glad it went to a good home and a great cause. Boy I hate those Kroger bags that fill up in my cabinet. I take them to recycle at Kroger when I remember, but I never forget how at the landfill tour last year, the tour guide told us that the worst thing to deal with (in the land fill AND in recycling) are those plastic grocery bags. They install fences at the landfill whose purpose is to keep those bags from flying everywhere. And the ones that make it to the recycle bin constantly get stuck in the recycler. Can't we find a better way??? My freecycle partner does :-)

Editors Note: If the unnamed maker of these fab bags happens upon my blog from the signature of my email I sent her, and wants credit for her work, I would update it with her info... with her permission of course :-)

Co Op

So off to Coop. Bret's favorite class last year was Botany. Same teacher, same curriculum, new topic... Human Anatomy. Two weeks we have worked on the history of science and cell anatomy. Today, after the quiz we made a cell with jello and candy. Mitocondria, nucleus, lysosomes, etc. Too much fun. Then Bret took the jello cell home and shared the fun.

Girl Scouts afar...ish

Brenda's Girl Scout troop has finally reached the point of no return. Too many girls have moved on the other activities. Junior high does that to kids out here. Suddenly there is cheerleading, volley ball, and topped with band, swim team, neighborhood soccer, and everything else that shows up at about 7th grade. We knew we would combine troops this year, but the other troop has actually transformed their dynamics. It has gone from 5-6 graders to half the troop being 5-6 graders and the other half to be 4th graders. Brenda comes to the meetings, but being an 8th grader is not getting enough out of it.

So this year she is a Juliette. A Juliette is a Girl Scout who doesn't have a troop. There is a homeschool troop available for her age group about 1/2 hr away from us. I offered to take her there and try it out. I even switched my Junior/Cadette meeting dates so they don't conflict with the homeschool troop meetings. They have a set-up that is really pretty cool. It is in a church gym that has a layer of doors on both sides with classrooms. The Daisies/Brownies get a classroom, the Junior/CSA's get a room, and the CubScouts get a room. So all ages can participate and be working within their Scout age group.

Today we showed up, me, Brenda, and Marley (6). Bret chose not to go with us. So Brenda went to the classroom for her age group. I asked Marley did she want to try out the Daisy/Brownie troop activities even though she has a troop starting in a few weeks. She said no but promptly changed her mind when she saw that room full of like-aged girls.

Brenda was not impressed. Marley cannot WAIT to come back, stating that she will drop her other troop if it means she cannot come back to this one. lol. I asked Brenda to give it a few more tries. If it doesn't work after that she can move on. Marley will go back anyway. Marley thought she finally found a place where she could fit in that wasn't too cliquey for her to meet friends. Brenda thought it might be too cliquey for her to get comfortable. Funny what a difference a few years makes.

Meet SQUISHY CAT BRIAN

Meet squishy cat brian. I got this photo off Brenda's facebook. Someone at Walmart (where appearantly she and her friend dressed up all goofy and went walking the aisles to see their effect on other people) gave her a fish and the receipt to go with it. So now we have this fish. It will need its own bowl, because although she told me it wasn't a gold fish, she is now calling it a gold fish. Clearly if she likes squishy cat brian she won't put it with the turtles.

Anyway she is coming home today. Which she regrets. She says to me, but when I come home I will have to deal with Lily waking me up early every morning and I hate that. To which I say, well that is because you keep us up at night with your loudness. Since Dad has to get sleep to wake up and work to pay the bills, he trumps your need to stay up late and loud with his need for quiet sleep.

More than once, in the last couple years, we have discussed the IF THEN chapter in the parent book I was given to read upon agreeing to take on this job position at this company called. And specifically how it relates to our sleeping needs, and the respect of others' sleeping needs.

Brenda feels she needs to sleep away a good portion of her day and stay awak a good portion of her night. Gaige feels he needs to sleep early, since he wakes up at 6:30am to get ready to school. Sometimes Bret (my husband big Bret) wakes up even earlier than that.

Here is how the IF THEN clause works, in relation to our sleeping needs. If you are quiet while others sleep, THEN you can stay up as long as you would like. IF you are loud, and passively or agressively disregard the needs of the sleepers, THEN you go to sleep. IF you cannot sleep because you are not tired yet, THEN you may go to your room quietly and do something like watch a movie with your ipod and headphones. IF you still cannot stay quiet after that, AND this continues for repeated nights, THEN you will wake up early so you are more tired at night.

We are all late sleepers and late go-to-bedders. So when I say we want to go to bed early, most likely that is 12am-ish. Except for Gaige who does go to sleep about 10:30 or 11 on school days. When I say "you will wake up early" that is most likely 10:30 or 11am. Not 7 or 8 in the morning. I am not usually even up at that time.

Meaningless School board Quote

If you have been around for a while, you will remember when I used to post the meaningless school board quotes from the school across the street. As far as schools go, I am sure it does its job. I mean it no disrespect. I know the school works hard to produce students who think like the state tests say they should think. And even try to put a little extra in there when they have time to do more than work toward standardized tests.

I have acquaintances who work there and I feel confident that they feel they are doing important work. I have no doubt they are sincere in their pursuit for a better world through the children they teach. I hope they are not offended by my wanting a different way, as I am not offended by their path. There are a million ways to be, and I don't hold a monopoly on the right way. There are many right ways for many different people. When we can all do our different things in different ways and live happily together, that is real success in the "fight for peace".

AND I cannot stand the ridiculousness of the posts on the school board outside the school. I don't know where these come from. With all the amazing inspiring quotes out there, I don't understand what the quote person is doing? These quotes are seldom inspiring and hardly ever make sense. This is a new one out recently.

"I would rather regret what I have done, than regret what I haven't done."

((((SIGH)))) If I was one of the parents on the PTA who helped fundraise for the purchase of this school board, I would be a little upset at its use. Does anyone else pass it by and sigh? Sometimes we slow down to read it, my whole family, then shake our heads. Sometimes my husband will catch a new one before me and he will update me on the new nonsensical quote. Then we shake our heads. I wish I could exactly remember the one from last spring that likened "untaught and unschooled" children to weeds. Then the teachers turn them into flowers. I cannot imagine my family would feel better about this if our kids went to school there.

Other meaningless school board quotes that they might want to consider in the future...

If you bring your homework home, then you can learn at home too.
If you teach a child to fish, he will kill fish AND worms.
If you teach a child to garden, he will kill veggies too.
Stay inside, and you won't get burned by the sunlight.
Creativitiy happens best with a pencil and paper in hand.
Children learn best when they are taught.

Not that I think the quote master in charge of the meaningless school board needs any help.

Why Do I Want My 13 Year Old To Go Away?

Why do I want her to away next summer to Canada to a community of NonEnglish speaking people? Because the family is so amazing? Because of the chance to really emerse herself in a new language? Because maybe she will become more worldly? To visit her friend? What?

I have had time to think about this for a year and a half now since Brenda has started asking me about going. That is right, she was 11 when she started asking to travel. There is swim team, Girl Scouts, summer camp, maybe even roller derby tournaments she might be missing out on. What could possibly make traveling that far over there worth the time and effort? Just so that my 13 year old can have a "visit". Especially when my husband so strongly disagrees with going.

None of those reasons are why I want her to go. Yes they might all happen or be true. But none of those are why.

When I was younger I played the oboe. I wanted to be in an orchestra some day. One of my dreams was to go take the train to a school of arts in Chicago instead of going to the local ps. I didn't ever get to do that, but the idea made me feel so amazingly free. Like I could reach any of my goals if I could just be free to do it my way. Several times as a youth I have felt that way. The times I went  to band camp and I was away from home, free to be who I wanted to be without parents, teachers, friends telling me what to do.  When I moved out on my own at 18 and lived and studied in Chicago, carrying a full time job to pay my own bills, and doing what I loved to do. I felt free. I could do ANYTHING and I knew it in a way I no longer do... Something about being young and on my own. It made me see things differently. Living with the same people forever (even if forever is only 13 years) your ideas and thoughts are influenced by them. Your daily plans are influenced by them. Your wake-up times, your friends, your political views, your view of yourself, it is all influenced by the people who surround you.

What if you could go somewhere else and be influenced by other people? Where would you go? Why is 18 the magic number for this? Why before 18 are you required to only be influenced by the people who live around you, which is dependent on so many factors that you have no control over. Why don't most kids get the choice to decide who else they want to influence their days?

Of course now more than ever, with internet, phones, facebook, twitter, youtube, etc etc etc. people can get in touch with almost anything if they choose to. Still so many kids stay put. Their facebook is filled up with their local friends, and their friends friends. And maybe a bunch more kids they don't even know just to fill up their numbers. Their follow famous people on twitter but don't see how they could make their own futures just like those people are doing.

All these famous people, they were just ordinary people once. Doing ordinary stuff. Going to ordinary school. With their ordinary friends.

She isn't asking to go across the world to France. She is asking me to take a trip across the boarder so she can have the experience she wants to have. We CAN afford it. It is not outrageous. I can take the other kids and do some awesome sight seeing, stop at museums, go to a lake-side beach or two, and really make it a trip for them to remember too.

So I am not living the life of an amazing orchestral oboist. I think I am doing something far better. Famous amazing orchestral oboists of the world might disagree. I however think I have been afforded this amazing experience that I couldn't have dreamed up better than this.And sometimes when the weather is perfect and the breeze fills the air with that swish of tree leaves waving to me, or a smell hits me that reminds me of something from long ago, I feel that free feeling of childhood again for just a moment. And I feel sad and happy all at once. I wish for those days back again, and I am glad that they happened. And they remind me to be the cheerleader who wishes for that feeling in my own kids.
 So what are we waiting for? I think we can get to Canada. And we can get back again.

And we have plenty of time to prepare...