I have had the opportunity to be in a situation to witness one of my children acting in a way that is considered offensive to another person. This was a concept in a theme on my blog not too long ago, so I though I would take a moment to address this new situation here.
One of my children is doing something in a group setting (a group which she really enjoys and loves to be a participant in) that is considered offensive by one of the members of the group. It is a group of younger children. I attend the group as an onlooker, so I have been aware of this thing she is doing, and reaction it is having. We do not (in our family) consider what she does to be anything out of the ordinary, and we definitely do not find it obscene. But this one person does, because his parent have tought him that it is. So the parent brought it to the attention of the person in charge. She politely asked for the person in charge to recognize it as offensive and not allow it to happen in the group and of course in front of her child.
I should stress again that we do not find this thing offensive. Not in the least. It is something that is commonplace in our lives, and we don't even bat an eye to it. I would go further to say that we all do it from time to time. She is just our dramatic one right now so she is doing it more. She knows that we don't agree with the stance of the parent who believes it is offensive and even maybe sacreligious.
So what to do??
The person in charge brought it to my attention the other day in an email. I really respect this person, and also I should note for the record that I am sure the other parent is not being a problem starter, but just trying to resolve what she sees as an issue in her best way possible. I take no offense from either one of them for the actions they have taken (which is to say just addressing the matter with eachother and me.)
And my child knows it is bothering the other child. He has addressed it to her and she told him that she doesn't believe it is offensive or sinful. She recognizes that said child gives her the "stink eye" when she commits this "atrocity" - if you will.
Again, WHAT TO DO...
What do I teach my children? Things will seem offensive in life. You may chose to be offended, or chose to not be offended and move on. We can be offended by everything or nothing. It is best to live our own lives how we see fit, and understand that not everyone sees fit the same as us. In other words, to each his own. But that is not how everyone sees it. If they are "offended" some people believe the offense should be ended. That is because they believe their way is right and the offense MUST be wrong and therefore stopped. (Yes that was two ands in one sentence. Get over it. lol.) We don't believe or teach that everyone should stop their ways to accomodate us. Except in extreme cases like abuse, bullying, etc.
So again, WHAT TO DO???
So I weighed the options and discussed them with her. Because that seemed what to do. She DOES have choices, after all. She can change her ways for the group because she likes being there and she wants to stay there living in peace with other people. OR she can chose to take a stand and drop out of the group. Both are acceptable options, and both are fine with me.
She chose to stay and try to work on her "offensive behavior" for the class. I could be upset. I could be offended as well. But I am not. So is life. It is good to see we have choices and make the ones that work for us. This is a good opportunity. So we will learn and move on.
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