How It Feels... Part 2

Last night was Family night at our local pool. It is dark. I am in the water with the girls. Marley is juming off the side and swimming with me when Brenda come running over to me... They are here! she whispers in an urgent voice. She didn't say "they". She used the names of Ryan's siblings. I am inclined not to use their names on my blog. This is the third time we have been at the pool with them since the incident, yet the first time we have seen them since Ryan has been charged and pled guilty.

The first time I saw them at the pool, I only knew the girl. I was coincidentally sitting next to their babysitter when I turned and said "Come here, Marley" and the boy's head shot up at Marley's name and connected eyes with me. We just looked at eachother for a minute, he curious, me realizing who he was. I had already told my kids to stay away from them to avoid any issues while we were waiting for the trial to start. I didn't know how much Ryan's siblings knew about what was going on and I didn't want any problems. Marley had told little Bret in her own way, so we had already been inclined to have a sit down with both Brenda and Bret and tell them what had happened. But so anyway the point is I now knew who both the kids were.

Back to last night's Family Night at the pool... I told Brenda that it is no big deal. Just leave them alone. She said so we can play with them now? I suggested that she don't and she reminded me that she doesn't like the girl anyway. She moved on to other things, like dunking me under the water. What is protocol for that? How am I supposed to feel about the siblings. They danced together last year at the dance studio. They know eachother. It isn't THEIR fault really that their brother did what he did. I kinda wish they would just move like Ryan's Myspace said they were doing, so I could avoid these confusing situations.

I know my husband doesn't feel the same way as I do. But I can't help it wondering about the mother. Because I am a mom and can wonder from a Mother's perspective. We, as parents, have the easier position. Chances are Marley will forget this ever happened in a couple years. It will just be a blip in her radar so to speak. But Ryan's mom... Well it must be a real painful place to be. There are no winners here.