Of course this is a homeschool blog. And since it is about MY experiences in my homeschooling life, I am compelled to add a little more detail to my most recent story.
I should start by saying that all the people, friends, aquaintences, and family, who have come by in person, by email, phone, whatever to tell me how sorry they are and to tell me their own personal experiences, be it something similar happening to their child or themselves or someone they know and how they dealt with it... or never did; it is all at my heart helping me heal. Because the funny thing about this is how hard it is for ME. The mom. The one whose job it is to protect her from these things.
Next I should like to say it has brought up deep wounds in my own life from when I was little not much older than she. That I could now look back and say why was no one protecting ME. And to see that same thought some day in my own daughter's eyes feels unbearable to me.
Now it may seem a little strange to some that I will even get on my blog with intents of blurting all this out. Almost like airing dirty laundry for all to see. All I can say to those people is that so many people have come to me with their own stories that I cannot imagine how common this really is. Something as unthinkable as what was done to my little three year old girl.
When she first told me, which thankfully was the next morning when she woke up (I had been out with friends the night before and my husband had gone out for pizza leaving our 14 year old son to watch her only to come home to find that our son was on the computer and his friend was alone with our baby) such a panic swept through my stomach. The one of my daughters that has almost never been away from the house without me was dredging up these horrific stories with such detail. The timing, the situation, her story, it all just matched. And never once in all this time did that girl waver from her story. In fact this wouldn't have even gone to trial if it had not been for her willingness to go and tell her story to the social workers assigned to handle the case. The tape of her story was so annimated and detailed that the prosecutor's office felt between that and their other evidence they could proceed. But even though it had to be pushed by the detective, because she is only three and it is not done that a three year old takes the stand. That most of these kinds of cases go completely uncharged due to the inablilty to collect usable evidence.
This boy for a month, while we were waiting on pins and needles for him to be charged, was hanging out with friends, posting inappropriate pictures on his myspace, declaring his innocence to everyone he could find, going to the local ammusement park, rafting, etc. Even referencing our 3 year old daughter online! Having a good ol time while we were scrappling to find a way to pay the bills for the hospital rape kit and testing and the upcoming counciling that our family would be receiving. It was such a hard month for us. Waiting and waiting and waiting.
We have moved our son to another school knowing that this boy would be back in school eventually. There is a good chance, even with pleading guilty to the Felony 3 Gross Sexual imposition of an under 12 as he has, that he will be let out for outpatient treatment. Because it happened a couple weeks before his 14th birthday he won't have to register as a sex offender. So if we don't get the word out, no one has to ever know it happened. His friends call our family liars and threaten our son. Like we would make up this story, subject our daughter to hours and hours (two days worth) of doctor probing and interviews... for the fun of it. As if this is all fun for us.
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