How It Feels... Part 2

Last night was Family night at our local pool. It is dark. I am in the water with the girls. Marley is juming off the side and swimming with me when Brenda come running over to me... They are here! she whispers in an urgent voice. She didn't say "they". She used the names of Ryan's siblings. I am inclined not to use their names on my blog. This is the third time we have been at the pool with them since the incident, yet the first time we have seen them since Ryan has been charged and pled guilty.

The first time I saw them at the pool, I only knew the girl. I was coincidentally sitting next to their babysitter when I turned and said "Come here, Marley" and the boy's head shot up at Marley's name and connected eyes with me. We just looked at eachother for a minute, he curious, me realizing who he was. I had already told my kids to stay away from them to avoid any issues while we were waiting for the trial to start. I didn't know how much Ryan's siblings knew about what was going on and I didn't want any problems. Marley had told little Bret in her own way, so we had already been inclined to have a sit down with both Brenda and Bret and tell them what had happened. But so anyway the point is I now knew who both the kids were.

Back to last night's Family Night at the pool... I told Brenda that it is no big deal. Just leave them alone. She said so we can play with them now? I suggested that she don't and she reminded me that she doesn't like the girl anyway. She moved on to other things, like dunking me under the water. What is protocol for that? How am I supposed to feel about the siblings. They danced together last year at the dance studio. They know eachother. It isn't THEIR fault really that their brother did what he did. I kinda wish they would just move like Ryan's Myspace said they were doing, so I could avoid these confusing situations.

I know my husband doesn't feel the same way as I do. But I can't help it wondering about the mother. Because I am a mom and can wonder from a Mother's perspective. We, as parents, have the easier position. Chances are Marley will forget this ever happened in a couple years. It will just be a blip in her radar so to speak. But Ryan's mom... Well it must be a real painful place to be. There are no winners here.

Camp Whiporwill

This year, while Brenda's troop headed off to Camp Stonybrook for TAC (Troop Adventure Camp) I knew that Bret's troop would be less willing to take a plunge like that. Also being the younger troop, I was hesitant to take them all to camp like that without more parent supervision. Sooooo... I offered up Me and My Gal Camp at Camp Whiporwill. This camp offers a one night two day camp where mom comes with her daughter, they sleep in tents, and enjoy all camp has to offer together. As expected, I had two other girls sign up, only one ended up coming. We were at camp with lots of other Girl Scouts met a bunch new friends, even one girl that was from our old homeschooling troop that... well didn't work out for us.



Here are Bret and Eva playing in the dark of the tent with flashlights.



Bret got her first opportunity to participate in the Flag ceremony. This was a great experience. I am glad that we did this!



We went canoeing. I think Brenda was a bit jealous about this one. Bret handled the boat almost exclusively herself. I did help steer a bit. And we raced Eva up and down the small lake.



This is our Creek Hike. If I look a little muddy that is because at Camp Whiporwill the entire creek hike is a clay wall. This hike was such a blast!

The funny thing about Eva, when we first started the troop last year, Bret and Eva were like acid together. They didn't get along, but funny their personalities were so alike. Even their temperments were the same. By the end of the year, Eva is Bret's favorite girl in the troop. And too bad they have moved. I told them if they can't find a good troop in their new town, they can sign back up with us and do our activities with us. We would love to keep her.

So I chose Camp Whiporwill to see how it compares to Camp Stonybrook. Here goes...
Camp Whiporwill Good points... The latrines SOOOOO much better and less smelly. The pool warmer. The tents the same except we were right next to the swinging bridge which was cool!! Much way cooler creek with tons of clay wall. Canoe lake.

Camp Stonybrook Good Points... Ten foot diving board and bigger pool. Singing hill (I missed that compared with Camp Whiporwill's Singing Patio). Better and bigger dining hall. Plus Tank is there and I just love her.

Although it seems like Camp Whiporwill has MORE on the list, I think the things at Camp Stonybrook weigh heavier to me. Still I have more warm feelings toward Camp Stonybrook.

I am behind again... Color of the month

Brown...
When you see the color brown what do you think? How do you feel? Brown is often a color used in Fen Shui. Wondering why? That’s because brown is considered a down to earth or natural color. The Psychology of the color brown is tied to mother earth.

No surprise. Look around you what do you see? Wood, stone, dirt, gravel, brick, and the list could go on. It is found in both non living and living things. What color are they? Brown of course. Brown is very much associated with mother earth and that is why it is considered natural and down to earth.

It is also considered a warm neutral color. It’s represents earthiness and wholesomeness even though it can be somewhat dull and drab by itself. Brown is associated with friendliness, simplicity, dependability, reliability, steadfastness and health. Perhaps that’s why the UPS guys were brown uniforms to portray the image or dependability and reliability.

Brown has several lighter relatives including beige, taupe, cream, and tan all of which make great backdrop colors making other colors appear deeper, brighter, and richer. Brown in a room will make it feel comfy, warm, inviting, and honest. Puce, khaki, ecru, coffee, cocoa, terra cotta, oak, liver, brunette, chocolate, russet, nutmeg, auburn, wood, sienna, bay, sand, cinnamon, tawny, fawn, mahogany, bronze, toast, oak, copper, umber, hazel, and ginger are all considered to be in the brown family.

Even though brown is found in mother nature all year round it is most often associated with fall and winter. Perhaps that’s because we tend to notice it more then when the green of spring and summer isn’t present to grab our attention.

In ones wardrobe brown is considered a more casual color than black but is considered an excellent choice, especially for men, who work in an environment that isn’t quite formal but is beyond casual. Brown will add class, it will others feel that you are approachable, you’ll have the image of reliable and dependable. All from one color. Remember Navy and grey work well with brown.

Brown mixes well with green especially those shades considered earthy, so think trees and leaves. In fact green and brown are often used together on recycled product packaging to convey a message of earth friendly.

Replacing your black with dark brown will add a slightly warmer tone and will be less intimidating or formal than black. If you want to brighten brown up add some rusty orange, pumpkin orange, orange red, or pale yellow. Gray, green, red, pink, and deep purple shades also look very nice with brown as well as all other neutral colors.

As with any color there are both positive and negative aspects to the color. Good brown includes a brown bottle like the ones used for beer, brown related to cooking is good, and brown also stimulates the appetite.

Brown in the bad sense might be “brown nosing” as in kissing but to get ahead, “brown out” as in not enough power to go around so the system crashes and burns.

Found at... http://www.articleclick.com/the-psychology-of-the-color-brown.html

How it feels... Part 1

Of course this is a homeschool blog. And since it is about MY experiences in my homeschooling life, I am compelled to add a little more detail to my most recent story.

I should start by saying that all the people, friends, aquaintences, and family, who have come by in person, by email, phone, whatever to tell me how sorry they are and to tell me their own personal experiences, be it something similar happening to their child or themselves or someone they know and how they dealt with it... or never did; it is all at my heart helping me heal. Because the funny thing about this is how hard it is for ME. The mom. The one whose job it is to protect her from these things.

Next I should like to say it has brought up deep wounds in my own life from when I was little not much older than she. That I could now look back and say why was no one protecting ME. And to see that same thought some day in my own daughter's eyes feels unbearable to me.

Now it may seem a little strange to some that I will even get on my blog with intents of blurting all this out. Almost like airing dirty laundry for all to see. All I can say to those people is that so many people have come to me with their own stories that I cannot imagine how common this really is. Something as unthinkable as what was done to my little three year old girl.

When she first told me, which thankfully was the next morning when she woke up (I had been out with friends the night before and my husband had gone out for pizza leaving our 14 year old son to watch her only to come home to find that our son was on the computer and his friend was alone with our baby) such a panic swept through my stomach. The one of my daughters that has almost never been away from the house without me was dredging up these horrific stories with such detail. The timing, the situation, her story, it all just matched. And never once in all this time did that girl waver from her story. In fact this wouldn't have even gone to trial if it had not been for her willingness to go and tell her story to the social workers assigned to handle the case. The tape of her story was so annimated and detailed that the prosecutor's office felt between that and their other evidence they could proceed. But even though it had to be pushed by the detective, because she is only three and it is not done that a three year old takes the stand. That most of these kinds of cases go completely uncharged due to the inablilty to collect usable evidence.

This boy for a month, while we were waiting on pins and needles for him to be charged, was hanging out with friends, posting inappropriate pictures on his myspace, declaring his innocence to everyone he could find, going to the local ammusement park, rafting, etc. Even referencing our 3 year old daughter online! Having a good ol time while we were scrappling to find a way to pay the bills for the hospital rape kit and testing and the upcoming counciling that our family would be receiving. It was such a hard month for us. Waiting and waiting and waiting.

We have moved our son to another school knowing that this boy would be back in school eventually. There is a good chance, even with pleading guilty to the Felony 3 Gross Sexual imposition of an under 12 as he has, that he will be let out for outpatient treatment. Because it happened a couple weeks before his 14th birthday he won't have to register as a sex offender. So if we don't get the word out, no one has to ever know it happened. His friends call our family liars and threaten our son. Like we would make up this story, subject our daughter to hours and hours (two days worth) of doctor probing and interviews... for the fun of it. As if this is all fun for us.

Temporarily moving on...

We picked up our cousin the other day and headed over to the Blackberry Winery for some blackberry picks. Haven't made the pie yet, but it is on the way sooner than later. But if you have been here for a while you know we do this every year. It is one of the bright sides to my July. It RAINED the whole time we were there, but I was not about to make a second trip for my pickins, so I picked in the rain. Prices went up to $1.75/lb. but still such an amazing deal.

Where have we been...

The good news is finally in. It is bitter sweet. But sweet just the same.

Ryan Haney, Gaige's 14 year old friend, has been charged with Felony 1 RAPE of my three year old daughter. If you keep up with my blog because you live around me, if you know the boy, if you know people who know this boy... just be aware.