Not about homeschooling?? Maybe not. But ok, when I decided to change my homeschooling approach and found that unschooling matched the goals that I have for my relationship with the kids, I soon found that it is not about school at all really. It is more about living, being happy, and enjoying eachother's presence every day. So I started, and still currently am when I have time and energy, reading up about how unschooling fits into every day living. Right off the bat, my personal struggles are this, housecleaning (chores) and food.
To give to my kids eating whatever they want and letting them find their healthy eating choices from trial and error (ex. crap food will eventally make you feel unhealthy, gorging on food will make you feel sick, and eventually you will stop wanting those things that you felt like you needed because you couldn't have them.) Well there is a little more to it than that. But I soon am finding that my girls literally busting the seams of their pants because they are having a freeforall with their food, first of all we aren't buying enough pants for that! Second of all we are rationing our money to pay some things that we fell way behind on so we are really watching the money we spend on food. It isn't that Bret and I are eating like royalty and the kids have pork and beans. We all are eating more wisely because that is how I am shopping. We simply are not buying 10 bags of chips and gallons of ice cream and nutty buddies and whatever else so that they can have whatever they want to eat all day. So that is my first issue, I guess with the radical changes that I want to eventally make. Maybe in due time I will change this view.
The other is house cleaning. Left to their own devices, my kids would and do throw their clothes, toys, papers, garbage, wherever they are and never look back. I am not sure why it has gotten like this. I think it is more out of habit than lack of respect. But how to turn that around? I do assign chores on a need be basis. A radical unschooler would say there is no need. Just a want. And maybe this IS so and true. I want to be able to cook food and eat at the table without having to spend hours of my own time washing all the dishes that the kids chose not to wash and cleaning the table that the kids have thrown everything from school work to toys to clothes on. I want my husband to find his toothbrush in the morning without having to search through tons of bathroom mess, because that is frustrating and no way to start a work day. If I were to do it all on my own not only would it never get done but I would have no quality time with the kids. I would literally be a slave to cleaning and cooking. In our house cleanliness saves the time of spending half an hour looking for the car keys before we go somewhere. Order helps me get things done faster. When the kids take something of mine into their bedroom and don't replace it, I could be all day trying to find it, not knowing that the kids took it.
So for now as I figure this life out, I know two things. One is that I love my kids and I want them to lead a healthy and happy life. The second is that I don't want crazy chaos to get them there.
So that brings me to the laundry. I came up with this idea. So far it is working. I bought baskets for everyone and when the laundry comes out of the dryer I immediately sort it into its rightful owner's basket. Then once a week, usually Sunday is a good night because we are all home, we sit down to watch a movie and fold our clothes. Then everyone can put their own clothes away. The kids seem to enjoy this. I am TRYING to find creative solutions to some of these issues! See? I am trying.
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